Do you know those times when you realize you are in completely the wrong place? And, like, what the hell do you do right? Where do you go? What if you were born into the abusive relationship, yet your life starts becoming the way you listen to songs that break inside your ears; and you wonder, what's all this. What's this price, huh? Were is it going to. It the world a disaster and your life just a symptom  of some huge disaster? Just because the worlds some big bloody pie and your a little piece of it, and according to some people its a bit fat HAPPY piece of pie and you are a happy person and while they say so, an innumerable amount of addicted people--overweight, overworked, overdrugged, overdosed,--are just walking past like what. So yeah, in conclusion my life is a piece of disaster pie. Of course, this is a western idea. If I were to acquire an eastern philosophy I would have to say that, in fact, I am the entire pie, and my little piece, when it is eaten, will not cease to exist; because It is the whole pie, and my life is the whole pie, and I am responsible for the whole pie and I matter as the whole pie. I think Eastern Philosophy is just cheerful enough to succeed, if not for it's common sense, in cheering  me up. 

I already miss certain hours. 

I've been roaming the city, kind of. Thats what summer is for. The city of LA. No, I'm kidding. I'm at my desk, really. I want to go to the 101 Coffee Shop right now.

I don't like over saturated photos, but when they are in mirrors, I think it's okay. 

Writing and minds.

Writing and minds.
Originally uploaded by elecricalsmoke

Further away does it go further and you are a stain on the shore, you ; and my dear eyes can perceive a life you have deadened to me.

We took a back road, we're gonna look at the stars

We took a back road in my car

down to the ocean, it's only water and sand

and in the ocean we'll hold hands,

But I don't really like you

apologetically dressed

in the best but on a heart beat glide

without an answer

the thunder speaks for the sky

and on the cold wet dirt I cry

Don't you wanna come with me?

Don't you wanna feel my bones on your bones?

It's only natural

The cinematic vision. .. like the holiest dream

An angel whispers my name but the message relayed is the same. 

-The Killers.

Once I was taking a walk and I saw this heart thing, and it said C loves R.

And then i went on walking, and it said R loves C. 

And then I saw one that said E loves W. 

And another said W loves R.

WHAT?

Today, anyone with a will to live is saving me. 

I stayed up all night and saw the quick way that light turns to dark and dark to light. Sunrises are quicker that sunsets. The only thing that is not depressing today are blogs. 

I need to remember the pictures in the night. 

And I need to know that someone can hear me. Dear mother, your cheekbones are so rare. 

now there is only urgency. now there is no sleep. now there are no costumes. Now there are but fleets of wishes that must vanish in a round world's horizon. 

"So what if everythign is controlled in a kind of group, everyone is controlled, everythign is controlled" he said, not knowing at all what he was saying. "Why is it so bad as long as everyone is happy? 

This is what my guest said. 

"But look around you, Y. Not everyone is happy."

"Yeah well a large percentage of the world, at least, is happy."

"Y, look where your from, you grew up here, in the United States. That is how it looks here. Who are you and where have you been." All will say is WHAT?!

Happy happy happy? What is this happy? I just saw Revolutionary Road. I couldn't bear it. I could not. I could not. It stifled me like a murder. 

"Yeah, well people are mostly happy, I mean if you look at the majority of the world they are happy.'

"Y., this does not have to do with the state of mind of people, a bum can be happy. I mean, it is not to do with a preference of state of mind, it has to do with human rights and reasons to live. It's not about that."

"Yeah well. I dunno."

" I mean, would so many people be doing drugs if they were happy? People that do drugs are not happy"

Why do I have to speak out loud and continue to break my own heart. This is breaking my heart. 

"And I mean, we know how that is."

He did not disagree with me that people that did drugs were not happy. I said it in such a way that you could not. 

I walked through and there were lines. The buildings were lines. I heard a woman say she went out of the shoe store. I don't want you to not help but cry. A depression is also the thing that pushing a button creates. 

I will rebel now. Look. 

"We, the consumers, of the United States of America, hold truth in contempt. Rather we favor entertainment. We toil while unceasing marketing campaigns attempt to titillate us and show us everchanging ways to buy more, new, and faster stuff. We are easily bored, and remain unaware of the true cost that our habits have on the earth, the world we are a part of." THis is just one of the things I found here

This is pretty cool, and speaking of rebellions. . 

Why can't you experience something  beautiful in your life?

The woman demanded of me. She was an adult. Tall. 

What?

Inside my head this thing she had said marked her absolutely insane. She was mindless. 

Song by Crystal Castles called Love and Caring

Here's my genius plan 

To make superior man 
Anatomically built 
This half corpse can't guilt 

Say goodbye 
To your incest eyes 
Blue blood 
Say why shattered glass 
Makes shattered ribs 
Never heard when it's time to guilt 

Until the bottom of winter blues 
You're my teacup passing by 
Doctor dead 
And his kids 
Oh, how awful it was today 

The sounds of screaming 
Save us please 
Open wounds 
Drowned in Kerosene 

What the fuck is this? 
Oh, it's the bass 

So, what do you think of me? 
Is it a joke 
Or a part of me? 

Yeah, 
I'm just saying 
May your face 
Minimize the human race 
This way we can be together 
Make threats to switchblade lovers 

Okay baby 
It's been so long 
Since the cityscape had episodes

While my world crashes, ice and dust till I'm just a girl in clothes reading in a cool cool bathtub, yeah thats all it takes to know something, right?

Then this song is like a dose of something strong and powerful, even a gritty electric hug. 

Do you remember when one would look through beautiful pictures in gourmet, seasonal cookbooks? I found a similar solution to this beauty-food-eye craving. 

simplybreakfast.blogspot.com

Thomas Friedman has this absolutely wonderful column. It is always giving innovative ideas and doing the "third thing"; the thing that the people that are tugging at two ends of a rope are missing completely. 

" I still believe that America, with its unrivaled freedoms, venture capital industry, research universities and openness to new immigrants has the best assets to be taking advantage of this moment — to out-innovate our competition. But we should be pressing these advantages to the max right now."  

and "Sometimes, I worry, though, that what oil money is to Russia, our ability to print money is to America. Look at the billions we just printed to bail out two dinosaurs: General Motors and Chrysler.

Lately, there has been way too much talk about minting dollars and too little about minting our next Thomas Edison, Bob Noyce, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Vint Cerf, Jerry Yang, Marc Andreessen, Sergey Brin, Bill Joy and Larry Page. Adding to that list is the only stimulus that matters. Otherwise, we’re just Russia with a printing press."

I first learned about Friedman when the book "The World Is Flat" was recommended to me. 

These are three pictures from Simply Breakfast (blogspot.com)

And another awesome human being you should all know about and read is Azar Nafisi.

She wrote a book called Reading Lolita In Tehran . It is filled with descriptions and conversation about literature--Gatsby, Bellow, Austen--and how one relates to such English books in 1979 Tehran.  

I was just reading it again because of the present demonstrations in Tehran, and the mention of that date--1797--in the news.